Dancing With Regret

Dancing With Regret

Dancing with regret is a phrase Frank used not to long ago in a conversation we had about the woulda, coulda, shouldas in life.  He was wisely saying that dancing with regret was a dangerous thing to do.  I could not agree more, but it is a dance we all are too familiar with and fall back into step with it when we are feeling weak of spirit.
It is a precarious act of balance that I do every day to acknowledge my past, remember the lessons it has taught me, and then step into the day without wallowing.  If I am spiritually full and balanced then I can sashay into the day rather than trudge, but I am human and there are days I sway to the familiar rhythm of victim hood.  It lulls me like not other music but I no longer want to be lulled by this old tune.  I don't want to merely survive two-stepping in the background.  I want to thrive in the spotlight with new music and new steps.
All this sounds good, but as with any form of art, it takes practice.  That is why I write.  That is why I meditate.  That is why I share, speak, listen and contemplate things I never did before.  That is why I keep learning and questioning.  That is why I have brought forth my creative side, which I had buried for so long.
Writing was something I never did before.  I saw myself as a singer and an actor.  I still see that about myself, but I see also that I am so much more.  More than a daughter, sister, wife, mother.  I am a creative being, a woman, an alcoholic a friend, a student of life, a writer, a comedienne.  I am full of labels yet  I defy labels at the same time.  I am large of spirit when I let myself.
So I am choosing today not to dance with regret but instead I am choosing to practice new moves.  Jazz hands!