“What Would You Do If It Happened to
Wren?”
I
was rocked by the election, like many of us were. I feel the nation is divided and that is
unsettling at best. I watch the news
every day and little by little my trust in our democracy is getting chipped
away. I feel de-valued as a woman by
this election, I feel de-valued as a woman by the proposed new health care act. I feel like I, as a woman, am a walking pre-existing
condition. I feel objectified, unheard and talked-down-to. I don’t understand
why we elected a man who talks about and treats women like he did and does. This coupled with the fact that I am studying
about some of the darker aspects of human nature in grad school as I work
toward becoming a psychologist means my faith in humanity is fading. I know
there are people who feel the same and that there are people who will read this
and adamantly disagree but I have to tell my truth today about what just
happened to me because the “locker room talk” is not acceptable, it never was
and it never will be. The “locker room
talk” breeds disrespect, objectification, in-equality and rape culture.
I started off working from home this
morning because Wren had a choir concert this morning that I wanted to
attend. When the concert was over I
stopped at Wawa on my way into the office to get cash and a coffee. I was getting my coffee cup and a male
employee walked past me paused and said, “good morning.” I smiled and warmly said “good morning” in
reply as I looked up. What I saw was him
staring, actually leering, at my chest with a big grin on his face. He walked behind the counter where the coffee
urns were lined up and went up to one of his male co-workers and loudly
whispered something. I didn’t catch it
all but what I did hear was, “put my face in that.” You can draw your own conclusions as to what
the whole phrase was. They both then
turned to leer at my chest together and laughed. I was in shock so I didn’t even look to see
what their name tags said. I just looked
at them and said, “REALLY?” I paid for
my coffee and left.
I called Frank from the car as I drove
to work and told him about Wren’s concert which he will attend tonight and I
mentioned what had just happened in Wawa.
He asked me what I was going to do about it and I said I probably wouldn’t
do anything because that sort of thing happens from time-to-time. It has happened to me all my life but happens
less and less the older I get which is another topic altogether about how women
seem to become invisible as they age in society’s eyes. But then he asked me, “What would you do if
it happened to Wren?”
Well now that stopped me in my
tracks. We could have a whole discussion
as to why I would march up to the manager and demand action for my daughter’s
sake but not value myself enough to do anything for my own sake but that is
something that I will have wrestle with for a while. What I am doing instead is writing about it
and tagging Wawa. I am writing about it because
this happens every day and it has happened to all the women I know at least
once and it just isn’t ok. I know this
is not Wawa’s fault, but I hope they address the issue and model common decency
in their workplace.
It isn’t ok that our daughter is about
to enter puberty, which is a hard enough time for any kid, but our daughter is
growing up under an administration that will think that what happened to me
while I was just trying to get a cup of coffee is no big deal. An administration that thinks there is
nothing amiss when decisions about women’s healthcare are made without the council
of women themselves. An administration
that thinks my three C-sections are pre-existing conditions. An administration whose leader said this and
we elected him anyway:
“I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved in on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t
get there. And she was married. You know I’m automatically attracted to
beautiful. I just start kissing
them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss.
I don’t even wait. And when you’re
a star they let you do it. You can do
anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”
For those who disagree with me, if it
happened to your daughter what would you do?
@Wawa this happened at store #924, 949 Montgomery Avenue, Narberth, PA 19072
