"What Would You Do If It Happened to Wren?"

“What Would You Do If It Happened to Wren?”

 

            I was rocked by the election, like many of us were.  I feel the nation is divided and that is unsettling at best.  I watch the news every day and little by little my trust in our democracy is getting chipped away.  I feel de-valued as a woman by this election, I feel de-valued as a woman by the proposed new health care act.  I feel like I, as a woman, am a walking pre-existing condition. I feel objectified, unheard and talked-down-to. I don’t understand why we elected a man who talks about and treats women like he did and does.  This coupled with the fact that I am studying about some of the darker aspects of human nature in grad school as I work toward becoming a psychologist means my faith in humanity is fading. I know there are people who feel the same and that there are people who will read this and adamantly disagree but I have to tell my truth today about what just happened to me because the “locker room talk” is not acceptable, it never was and it never will be.  The “locker room talk” breeds disrespect, objectification, in-equality and rape culture.

I started off working from home this morning because Wren had a choir concert this morning that I wanted to attend.  When the concert was over I stopped at Wawa on my way into the office to get cash and a coffee.  I was getting my coffee cup and a male employee walked past me paused and said, “good morning.”  I smiled and warmly said “good morning” in reply as I looked up.  What I saw was him staring, actually leering, at my chest with a big grin on his face.  He walked behind the counter where the coffee urns were lined up and went up to one of his male co-workers and loudly whispered something.  I didn’t catch it all but what I did hear was, “put my face in that.”  You can draw your own conclusions as to what the whole phrase was.  They both then turned to leer at my chest together and laughed.  I was in shock so I didn’t even look to see what their name tags said.  I just looked at them and said, “REALLY?”  I paid for my coffee and left.

I called Frank from the car as I drove to work and told him about Wren’s concert which he will attend tonight and I mentioned what had just happened in Wawa.  He asked me what I was going to do about it and I said I probably wouldn’t do anything because that sort of thing happens from time-to-time.  It has happened to me all my life but happens less and less the older I get which is another topic altogether about how women seem to become invisible as they age in society’s eyes.  But then he asked me, “What would you do if it happened to Wren?”

Well now that stopped me in my tracks.  We could have a whole discussion as to why I would march up to the manager and demand action for my daughter’s sake but not value myself enough to do anything for my own sake but that is something that I will have wrestle with for a while.  What I am doing instead is writing about it and tagging Wawa.  I am writing about it because this happens every day and it has happened to all the women I know at least once and it just isn’t ok.  I know this is not Wawa’s fault, but I hope they address the issue and model common decency in their workplace.

It isn’t ok that our daughter is about to enter puberty, which is a hard enough time for any kid, but our daughter is growing up under an administration that will think that what happened to me while I was just trying to get a cup of coffee is no big deal.  An administration that thinks there is nothing amiss when decisions about women’s healthcare are made without the council of women themselves.  An administration that thinks my three C-sections are pre-existing conditions.  An administration whose leader said this and we elected him anyway:

“I did try and fuck her.  She was married.  I moved in on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there.  And she was married.  You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful.  I just start kissing them.  It’s like a magnet.  Just kiss.  I don’t even wait.  And when you’re a star they let you do it.  You can do anything…  Grab them by the pussy.  You can do anything.”

For those who disagree with me, if it happened to your daughter what would you do?  

@Wawa this happened at store #924, 949 Montgomery Avenue, Narberth, PA 19072