“Broken
Vases”
“A fine glass
vase goes from treasure to trash, the moment it is broken. Fortunately, something else happens to you
and me. Pick up your pieces. Then, help me gather mine.”
Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
The kids and I are going on a road trip
in July. This is something that
pre-pandemic we had done annually but we haven’t been able to since and we can’t
wait. Each year always saw the main
focus of the trip landing us in Indiana at my best friend Liz’s house. She and her family are our second family and
it is always like a second homecoming. This
year is especially exciting because we are to attend her step-daughter’s
wedding.
Liz and I face-time over coffee most
mornings, because who wouldn’t do that with their best friend if they
could? The other week she let me know
that Kristi had requested Wren and I come with Liz on the morning of the
wedding to help her get ready. I mean,
what an honor? Liz then let me know that
Kristi mentioned one of the reasons was that she said, “I feel like I need
Fiona there to keep me calm.” When I
heard that I did an internal double-take.
I hear that a lot lately – that I am a
calming influence. I hear it from
clients, from friends, from acquaintances and from my boyfriend. Yes as a side-note I have a boyfriend… there
will be more on him in later posts I’m sure. When asked, he let me know that I could write
about him as he trusts me but I feel like I want to keep him to myself for just
a little bit longer. Know I am
incredibly happy and I never saw this relationship coming but I am choosing to
follow the energy of it in the healthiest and most passionate way I know how.
To hear that people find me to be a
calming influence is both an honor and immensely baffling at the same
time. I will just say that I have not
traditionally been known for being even-keeled.
I would say that in the past my emotions have been all over the map and
my actions followed suit. A few weeks
ago I wrote about what it is like for me to live in “the calm” and how it is
both a blessing and a curse. Mostly
though it is a blessing and how it affects others in a positive way is one of
those blessings.
The fact that I can now give a sense of
peace to others brings me joy. I could
never have imagined that before. I know
that I can’t take credit for it though.
I know that credit is entirely due to my relationship with my higher
power and my work with the steps. I have
rituals that I perform every morning without fail. If I don’t perform these rituals I am of no
use to myself of others.
I start my day off by heading out my
door and standing out on my deck – rain or shine. I start my conversation out with Joe by a
simple “Good morning” followed by a heart-felt expression of gratitude. I recite a quote from Cervantes that has great
meaning to me and then a quote of my own.
Then I talk to him. I talk to him
about the previous day and about the day to come. I ask him every day to guide me. I ask for patience and focus and ask that he
allow me to help others in whatever way he sees fit. Some days I talk about a client of two and
what I struggle to understand about them and what is blocking me from being the
best therapist to them that I can be. Some days
the answer to how I can best approach them comes in those moments on the
deck. The ritual ends with me reciting
the Third Step Prayer. Then I end the
show I am sure my neighbors have seen a few times and questioned my sanity over,
and I head inside.
This has now set me up to walk through
the day in a measured and intention-filled way.
This is why I seem calm now to others… because I am. I must radiate or broadcast this without
realizing it. The fact that it helps
others is up to Joe but I am so pleased that it does and that he has chosen to
use me in this fashion.
So in July I will be heading to my
second home to transmit some calm to a bride-to-be and I can’t think of a
better way to spend a summer day.
