I'm So Awkward

I'm so Awkward

The bizarreness that reigns between my ears is extraordinary.  I am truly, truly strange and I am always, always so awkward.  I have come to realize that we all are to some degree or other and as we grow up we just learn how to mask it as best we can.
I had a neighbor once who would leave me some of her art pieces and plants that she no longer wanted.  She left a tall plant in a basket outside my door and I decided to leave it there by the entrance and dutifully watered it for a year before one of my other neighbors saw me do it and said, "you know that is a plastic plant right?"  Yeah...  I had just thought it was really hardy.  Awkward.
Back in the day, Frank and I both used to smoke, Frank more so than me and quit on a dime when he was diagnosed with cancer because he is just that determined, but we both used to smoke nonetheless.  One of the first office functions that Frank brought me to was a Christmas party.  During the party we went outside for a cigarette and there were some other people from the office there.  One of his colleagues offered to light our cigarettes and I took a first drag, started coughing and farted loudly.  I thought Frank was going to faint in embarrassment and I thought I might die in all my black velvet glory.  Awkward.
Once on a plane flying across the Atlantic, I went to the bathroom.  There was a long line of people waiting and when it was my turn I got myself settled on the seat when the plane hit turbulence and the door flew open to reveal the still long line of people waiting.  The man in the front of the line was so shocked he didn't seem to grasp the fact that I would need to stand up in order to close the door.  I tried asking him to shut it for me, but we spoke different languages and alas I was forced to do just that.  I stayed in the bathroom for a really, really long time before making my way back to my seat.  Awkward.
As a college student I spent a year studying in London and worked my co-op at a studio so had my fair share of brushes with celebrities.  By far the most epic was when I took myself to a movie off Kensington High Street.  As was the practice in London, you had to have your bag searched before entry and I was standing in line to do so.  They seemed to be rushing us through the process and I reasoned that someone important or famous as going to be coming.  I went to the concession stand to buy some popcorn and turned around to find that Princess Diana was directly behind me.  This was the period of time when she no longer had body guards and she was just standing there with a girlfriend.  I got my popcorn and was so nervous that I dropped my change on the floor.  I bent over to pick it up and all I could think was, Princess Diana is behind me and she's staring at my butt now... wonderful and oh so awkward.
There was the time as a teenager that my best friend and I went to another friend's house for the evening.  This friend's family was deeply religious and I was very conscious of that fact and was trying to be very polite.  We were all watching a movie with his parents when something shocking happened and in a desperate attempt to not swear, I yelled out "Jesus Christ" in shock at the scene on screen... Awkward.
Back when I got my first e-mail address and was new to e-mail, I responded to what I thought was an e-mail from Frank with a detailed and racy response and fired it off.  When Frank called me later that day I mentioned the e-mail and he said he hadn't received it.  You see Frank is the third so it turn out that his e-mail address and his dad's are remarkably similar, so I had sent a suggestive e-mail to the man who would become my father-in-law.  I still haven't lived that one down and that was back in 1997.  Awkward.
There are many, many other examples, so many that I have earned the right to laugh at myself almost daily.  Now when I find myself in certain situations with other people I try to remember to diffuse it by simply saying, "well this is awkward", and then smiling.  This usually makes it easier to deal with for everyone.  What if we all agreed to just admit we are all awkward.  What if we all recognized that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that we are all perfectly flawed and beautifully human?
Happy New Year all.