The Unbecoming

The Unbecoming

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.  Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that you isn't really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place..."  Anon
This quote may sound like something you would find on a cat poster somewhere but when I saw it the other day on a friend's Facebook feed it struck me.  It is a near perfect quote at least for how I feel about my own journey.
I have long felt that I was someone.  Someone special, someone full of love, someone kind, someone intelligent, someone meant to do something important.  This wasn't something on my surface, but something deep down in my core.  This wasn't something akin to fantasy either, though I have had plenty of those throughout my life, it was always something raw and true and essential to who I am at my core.  I suspect many others feel the same about themselves.
I often think to myself when looking at my loved ones as they walk down the street and are passed by by others, "you people just brushed past someone extraordinary and you don't even know it."  I look at Frank and think not enough people know how wonderful he is, how strong, how complicated, how fascinating, how patient, how special.  I always feel that about my kids.  I want to shake people who dismiss Dermot because he is a joy and everyone should see that.  I feel sorry for people who don't give Wren time to warm up because she has so much wisdom in her tiny body.  Similarly, my mother-in-law gives so much of herself to others, not stopping just at her family, but extending to those less fortunate, and people need to know that.  Similarly, my father-in-law is a most non-judgement and loyal man and everyone should experience his acceptance.  I could go on and on about all those close to me in my life.
It therefore strikes me that there are people I pass on the street who are also amazing and I don't even know it.  I could be missing an opportunity to see their spark.  I am rushing through my life, hurrying on to the next task and losing out on soul-nourishing connections.  It strikes me that we are all special.
Throughout my life my own spark has dimmed over time.  So much garbage built up around me that there was less and less space for the light to filter in and conversely filter out.  This past year has been all about unwinding and starting again.  It has been like a tangled ball of yarn worth taking the time to untangle.  Once it got unkinked I was struck by the beauty of the thread and it was so worth saving rather than giving up and throwing it all away.
Perhaps this IS all about unbecoming those things I don't care for about myself, those things that aren't truly me.  Perhaps it isn't so much about accumulating things and prestige and accolades, but more about getting rid of all that noise and slowing down to listen and see and be.  The more I slow down and look every person I see in the eye and connect with them, the more I take the time to think, feel and look for the spark in us all, the more I unwind the me I no longer want to be and unbecome.