Joe's Minions

Joe's Minions

There are so many things I see in better focus these days.  My mind is no longer fogged by substance, no longer blocked by ego, no longer closed to the miracles of life all around me.  This marathon is far from over and far from easy, but now that I am looking straight ahead and not at the ground, my head held higher... I am able to appreciate the beauty of the route.
For a long time in my life I have had issues with abandonment.  It stems from childhood I know, and it is time to put that fear down and walk on.  It is my single biggest fear outside the loss of another child.  When I am down, I feel so alone, so isolated, so disconnected from humanity.  Gone is the history of support I have received from friends and family, the proof that I count and the basic truth of my link in the great human chain of love.  I don't know why it happens, but it happens less and less as I examine everything more closely now and allow the "sunshine of the spirit" to warm my upturned face.
As my spirituality grows and my faith in the paradoxical ethereal concreteness of "Joe" cements in my mind, I not only enjoy the beauty of the route I am on, I notice the sidelines are manned with cheerleading minions.  I have scores of minions, who knew?  Once I allowed myself to be vulnerable, they poured out of the woodwork and started passing me water bottles at rest stops along the way.  They started passing me towels to mop up the sweat and cheering loudly as I struggle up the hills.
You can criticize Facebook all you like, but I think it is a miracle.  It has allowed me to connect with people I would likely never have seen or heard from again.  Growing up overseas and moving back to the states I would have lost touch with so many people, but social media allows me to have a relationship with so many.
I get reminders that I count every day.  I have recently been gifted a Bible from my sponsor and her husband after musing that I have never read it and wonder where all my contempt for it came from given I know next to nothing about it.  I received a devotional from another friend who thinks I have a message to share and wanted to offer me words she has found so fundamental to her.  I have gotten messages from friends letting me know that I have affected them in a positive way, that my writing hits home to them or to someone they know.  Strangers who read "Rising From The Ashes" let me know I am helping... This blows my mind.
I got a message the other day from a guy I haven't spoken to since I was in tenth grade.  He is a rough-around-the-edges guys guy who messaged me in the middle of the day about a week ago.  He wrote to tell me it was a beautiful day outside and that he hoped I got a chance to go out and enjoy the sunshine...  He had no idea how much that meant to me.  I think about it and smile frequently.  To have someone so far in my past whose connection to me I had assumed was so tenuous and small, reach out and let me know I was being thought of, was huge.
There are so many other people who have helped me, those who donated to my M.A.D.D. page among them.  I mention this not as a plug, but as a message of gratitude.  These are people, again that I haven't spoken to in over twenty years.
So many people care, so many people let me know that I count.  So many people to thank and be grateful for.  I cherish each and everyone of you.  Imagine how much a difference we could all make in other people's lives if we just reach out and tap them gently on the shoulder and remind them that they matter. Thank you for being "Joe's minions.  Now let's go forth and multiply.