“What You Cannot Do For Yourself”
Two
blog posts in two days! I never have
time for that right? Well this week I do
and you want to know why? Because as one
of my closest friends likes to say, “God is doing for you what you cannot do
for yourself.”
Yesterday
I posted about self-care and balance. I
was talking about how we need to take the time to do what we need to do to make
sure we are healthy and happy. I had
spent the weekend with my girlfriends and felt refreshed and ready to go back
and face my ever-busy life. We packed up
our things and had brunch together before heading out in separate directions,
they drove off towards Indianapolis and I toward Philadelphia. I got as far as the intersection before the
on-ramp to the highway and my car died…
Now
in Pittsburgh there are a lot of really nice people I have found. Not one, not two, but four cars pulled over
and offered me help. I got a jump and a
push and got my car over into an office complex but two of the men who stopped
to help knew something about cars and they thought that there was something
wrong with my battery but more likely something wrong with the alternator.
Now
I HATE dealing with my car when it has trouble.
I have always hated dealing with my car.
It isn’t rational and it isn’t right-sized and I panic every single
time. I managed to stay relatively calm,
and called AAA. I will admit that I
cried on the lady on the other end of the phone and she was really nice about
it. When she heard I was trying to get to
Philly she actually asked me if I knew the theme song to “Fresh Prince of Bel
Air” and I sang to her a few bars which had us both laughing and got me out of
my panic and apparently made her day. I
got towed to Firestone which was one of the only places open and they replaced
the battery. BUT they told me the
alternator was also dead and would need to be replaced and they didn’t have one
in stock and would have to order it in the morning.
Panic
set in again. I was supposed to be back
in Philly this morning for a 9 am meeting with a treatment center to talk about
them using my book in their family program so it was a meeting I desperately
did not want to miss. I asked them if
they thought I could make the 5 hour drive to Philly on the new battery. They hesitantly told me I might and I
launched a scheme in my head to buy a battery pack at Pep Boys to use to jump
start myself along the way… Yeah.
Fortunately
I spoke to a friend and was gently dissuaded from this idea. I accepted my situation for what it was and I
ended up getting a hotel room across the parking lot from Firestone and
checking in for the night to wait. I
would have to re-schedule the meeting and wait for the part to come in this
morning. I went back to Firestone to let
them know and the most amazing things began to happen. The man at Firestone asked me if I was
missing something important and I told him it was a meeting I was excited about
but that it was a first-world problem that could be solved. He started telling me his wife always talks
about acceptance. Turns out his wife is
a drug and alcohol counselor and he himself is in recovery. We ended up having the most amazing conversation
about acceptance, surrender and each other’s concept of a higher power that
lasted about half-an-hour. It was two
strangers connecting on a universal level and sharing some very intellectual
and intimate ideas about existence. It
was simply amazing.
Then
I go to the room at the hotel to discover it not only has a kitchenette but a
recliner. I have leftovers with me from
the weekend, my favorite blanket and my computer. Last night I ate, curled up under my fleece
blanket in the recliner and napped which is something I hardly ever do
anymore. I spoke with each of my
sponsees and was not in any rush and had no agenda at all. I woke up this morning refreshed and had time
to sort through some things on my to-do list and sit here and write this piece. And you know what? The person I was supposed to meet this
morning? She sent me an e-mail first
thing this morning cancelling our meeting and asking if she could re-schedule
it anyway.
Just
imagine if I had done what my ego wanted me to do? Imagine if I had risked driving with a dodgy
alternator and my car had died somewhere between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia in
the dark and I tried to jump start it on my own knowing as little as I do about
cars. Now I may have gotten stranded or
I may have made it home but it would have been incredibly foolish and stressful
and the meeting would have been cancelled anyway… Instead I accepted life on life’s terms and I
got one more day of self-care
God was doing for me what I could not do
for myself indeed.
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