"Mom! I Conquered My Fear!"

“Mom!  I Conquered My Fear!”

 

 

Last week, Frank and I had to take Dermot to CHOP for an EKG.  For those of you who know us and know about Liam, let that sink in.

About 18 months ago, Frank had taken the kids in for a check-up and Wren had needed to get shots.  This had made Wren understandably unhappy and had made Dermot somewhat wobbly from watching it.  Then another appointment later, Dermot had to have a blood test and made the mistake of looking down as they were drawing the blood.  He had a vasovagal reaction and passed out. 

Fear can bring on a vasovagal attack and the sight of needles and blood had done so for Dermot.  The medical definition of a vasovagal reaction (taken from www.medincinenet.com) is “a reflex of the involuntary nervous system that causes the heart to slow down and that, at the same time, affects the nerves to the blood vessels in the legs permitting those vessels to dilate.  As a result the heart puts out less blood, the blood pressure drops, and what blood is circulating tends to go to the legs rather than to the head. The brain is deprived of oxygen and the fainting episode occurs.”

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and just before summer ended I took both kids in for their annual physical.  We were in the car on the way to the appointment and Dermot started getting nervous and asking a lot of questions.  He wanted reassurance that this was just a check-up and nothing else.  He asked me if they were getting any shots and I said I didn’t think so (I really didn’t think that they did have any they needed.).  This was not the answer Dermot needed and he continued to get more and more nervous the closer we got to the doctor’s office.  We parked the car and walked in.  Dermot told me he would come in in just a minute as he needed some air and I turned to sign them both in.  Then from behind the closed front door I heard him say, “Oh no! It’s happening!”  I dropped everything I was holding and turned to grab the front door and haul him in and managed to grab him and mostly catch him So he didn't hit his head hard on the waiting room floor.  He was out for about 15 seconds and convulsing slightly.  I was talking to him quietly and telling him he was going to be fine and hugging Wren at the same time who had started to cry while the nurses were running around the front desk.  We made quite the entrance all over the idea of the possibility of maybe getting a shot.

We got him on a couch and resting for a few minutes before they thought he was alright to come back to the exam room.  Before seeing the doctor, they had to both be weighed and measured.  So they weigh him and as they are getting his height, the nurse is telling him that he needs to put his feet together against the wall and he isn’t responding.  She puts her arms out in front of her to pin him to the wall and I come in and catch him as he goes out again!  I carried him to the exam room, which is no longer an easy feat as the kid is now almost my height at 12 years old and get him on the exam table.  It turns out he was supposed to get a shot after all but they decide not to give it to him because they are worried about his blood pressure.

After speaking to me about the history with Liam and Frank and his sister possibly having issues with mitral valve prolapse, the doctor decides that in order for Dermot to be cleared to play sports in middle school we need to take him to CHOP and have him checked out by cardiology.

The night before the appointment, Frank said Dermot could not sleep because he was so nervous.  We kept telling him that an EKG had nothing to do with needles and that it was going to be fine.  Frank and told him that you are 20% more likely to be successful at something if you tell yourself that you will so he apparently spent time telling himself in front of the mirror, “I am not going to pass out, I am not going to pass out.”

The three of us drove to the appointment together and as we were walking in, Dermot wanted us both to hold his hands.  As we were signing in he said, “Oh no mom!” and I hugged him to me hard.  He was trembling but did not pass out, but we got him a wheelchair just in case because I didn’t want him hitting his head on the floor.  The nurses and techs were great as they explained everything to him and the EKG was super easy.  The doctor came in and said his EKG looked completely normal and asked us a number of questions, including ones about Liam.  After that he examined Dermot and was telling us that he didn’t see anything wrong at all and that was when I quietly lost it.  I had been 99.9% sure he would be fine but hadn’t realized until that moment just how worried I had been and just how much I had been affected by being in CHOP again.

In any case, Frank and I took Dermot out for breakfast before sending him back to school.  Then we realized that we still had to schedule him for that last shot.  Frank called and got an appointment for the next morning (a Saturday).  I had the kids that night but had class that morning so would not be able to join them.  We decided not to tell Dermot about the upcoming shot given that he had hardly slept the night before so that he could at least get some rest.  I dropped the kids off and headed off to class feeling extremely guilty that I couldn’t be there to go with them for the appointment given the fact that the night before Dermot had told me he loved me and that it had made a big difference to have us both there at CHOP (insert knife in heart and twist).  Frank promised to text after the shot.

At about 9:45 am my phone rang and I left my classroom for the hallway.  I answered the call and got a triumphant, “Mom! I conquered my fear!”  Dermot had gotten the shot without passing out.  He was so excited and proud.  Apparently, after telling him where they were going and having Dermot have a melt-down about it, Frank had the genius idea of looking up on the internet how to “hack” a vasovagal attack.  They read up on it together and learned that people who have these attacks tense up and forget to breath so one way to avoid fainting is to wiggle your extremities and remember to breath.  Dermot did this and managed to stop himself from passing out.

I can’t tell you how proud he sounded on the phone and how proud I was of him for dealing with it.  It sounds like a small thing, but for him in that moment it was everything and I think the three of us worked pretty well together to get through it all on many levels.

Dermot approved this message by the way.