The Humbling

The Humbling

Today I am going to quit my part-time job at Bed Bath and Beyond as I am spending more and more time with Frank and the kids.  I am stretching myself too thin and though I love the people at the store and it has been a great experience, something has to give and it isn't going to be time with my family.  

But I have to say that I think every person coming out of recovery should get a job and a job that humbles.  When I was at the recovery house I cleaned houses for while for a woman who owns a business cleaning up newly constructed buildings and residences.  Then I worked as a cashier at the Christmas Tree Shop and then moved back close to home and did the same at Bed Bath and Beyond.  I had never had a retail job before and I have to say in a previous time in my life, I thought I was too good for such.  I don't feel that way anymore.  People in retail work really hard and they deal with angry customers face-to-face working odd hours standing on their feet the whole time.

I think humbling yourself daily is crucial to recovery and so many of us, addicts or not, could use a little humbling.  Being humble forces you to remember that we are all but grains of sand in this vast universe, small in our existence, but large in our potential.  To remember that you are small but that you can affect change one act at a time helps you focus on your intentions.

Beyond that, a recovery job provides much-needed structure, much-needed responsibility and much-needed self-esteem.  I know that, at least for me, I needed some self-esteem coming out of rehab and I heard someone say once, that if you want self-esteem you have to begin by doing esteemable things.

Recovery jobs may not be glamour us but they make us industrious members of society again.  They allow us to earn pay rather than steal from family, friends and strangers as many of us have done to support our habits.  It gives us the opportunity to work hard.  They are what you make of them.  I tried to be the happiest and friendliest cashier that I could be.  You can enjoy almost anything if you make a conscious choice.  There are lessons to be learned in all things around us and inspiration to be found in all faces we look into.

One of the women at the store is a janitor.  She comes in on the weekends and cleans while we work.  She empties the trash as we stand at the register and she is such a lovely person.  She is so happy and so friendly.  She told me the other day when I commented that she was always smiling, something to the effect of, "I try to spread smiles everyday, it might make a really big difference to someone who needs it."  Such a basic truth and one I would never have learned if I had not humbled myself.

So retail taught me a lot even if I it never made it possible for my nether regions not to clench when someone handed me change after I have already opened the drawer and I have to try and do math in my head!