Mommy Mafia

Mommy Mafia

And now for something more uplifting...   After writing about some really heavy subjects over the past few weeks, I want to put something out there that fills me with hope and gratitude.  As you know now, I did not have a stable role model for a mother.  She is unwell and was not capable of giving that to me.  It was not until I met my mother-in-law that I really got a sense for what mothering was all about.
I have been around my in-laws since I was a teenager and they are and have been a huge influence on my life from the start.  My father-in-law is one of the most likable men that I know.  Easy with a laugh and a smile and so generous.  He teases mercilessly but is one of the most accepting people I have ever met.  He is not without his notions, I mean he is a republican after all!  However, he meets people head on without judgement and gives you a shot before he forms an opinion, it is a rare quality but such a good one.
My mother-in-law is equally as generous and I have seen her open her home to so many.  She waited to see where Frank was going to go in terms of our relationship before embracing me fully, but once she did, she has never looked back.  I know there are things that I do that drive her nuts, and there are times the feeling is mutual, we wouldn't be as perfectly flawed and beautifully human as we are if they did not.  But, she frequently tells me that she considers me one of her children and I feel and believe that; it has been a saving grace for me many times over the years.
She also keeps good company.  Her friends are amazing and I refer to them as the Mommy Mafia.  I call them that because when they learned that my mother was not coming to my bridal shower they swooped in and enfolded me with love and support.  My mother-in-law heard my mother wasn't coming nor was she going to be involved in any way, and her face changed, there was a certain set to her jaw that occurred at the news and then I can only imagine the hew and cry that went out to her friends.  She is like the don of this group and there was no way that she was going to let my bridal shower be anything less than wonderful and her friends were part of that.  They came in to my sister-in-law's house with dishes to pass, stories to tell about Frank as a child and gave freely of marital advice and funny anecdotes.  I remember thinking, "Oh, this is what it is supposed to be like!"
Fast forward to our wedding and the same thing happened.  Then my baby shower, Liam's desperate arrival and Frank's cancer and we were never lacking in support.  These women are remarkable and I am so lucky to have them in my life.
My mother-in-law has shown me what mothers are supposed to be.  There is a fierceness in her care and Joan has a depth of loyalty that is unrivaled.  The single best thing she has shown her children (and as I say, I consider myself lucky to be one of them) is that she will always have their backs, she will be there in good times and in bad.  Like Wren, she is like a lioness protecting her young and there is much about Wren that I think is a direct link to Joan not only in personality but in looks.  If that is the case, it will serve Wren well in her life and will serve those Wren cares about in ways they can't yet imagine.