Two Wolves

Two Wolves

The following is a Cherokee Legend:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life, "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.  "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.  One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."  He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."  The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"  The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
When I was in rehab the first time, I heard a speaker in a meeting tell this story.  Even in the fog of detox, I was struck by this legend.  I unfortunately forgot all about it shortly thereafter and did not apply the principle of its wisdom until much later.  What a simple and powerful message.
I know now how to feed the good wolf.  I learned over time what things ground me and keep me sober.  More than that I learned what things pulled me out of myself and into recovery.  There is a big difference between sobriety and recovery.  You can be sober and still hang onto the problems and character defects that made you drink or use.  Recovery is when you are no longer using and are working on clearing away the wreckage to rise above the mess you made of your life and create a new world of serenity and peace.
I know that getting up early and reading a few simple daily reflections and devotionals as well as the passage of the Big Book that I am required to read each day by my sponsor and journaling set the stage for a good and grounded day.  I often then do some writing and it sets my day on the right course... It is the nourishment that the good wolf needs to thrive inside me.  I can't say over the past few months that I have been as diligent in harvesting this lupine nourishment and I found the bad wolf to surface a little too much.  I am back to doing the basics now, however, and it feels good.
These times are frightening.  Wherever you stand politically, you have to recognize that there is a lot of hateful rhetoric being voiced in this country at the moment.  I find that to be alarming, but I find the fact that so many people are responding to and re-voicing such dangerous and xenophobic ideas to be not only abhorrent but terrifying.  I won't claim to be an expert on religion, politics, foreign policy, domestic policy or refugees.  I will claim however to be full of love, tolerance and humanity.  I will claim to strive daily to be the best person that I can be, which includes following some basic tenets of grace, goodness and kindness.  I will claim to know enough about our human history to know that when large numbers of a society start letting   hateful language become acceptable, then we are setting the stage for an apathetic allowance of the de-humanization of others.  We have seen this before and we must examine the past so we do not repeat some of our most criminal, base and shameful behavior.  I want to be proud of our country and it's leaders so I would hope we, as a nation, pull ourselves together and starve the bad wolves.