Though She Be But Little...

Though She Be But Little...

"Though she be but little, she is fierce."  A Midsummer Night's Dream - William Shakespeare
I think of this line when I look at Wren.  She is a tiny package of confidence and tenacity.  She sees things in a way I do not, she knows herself, she knows what she wants and she does not see obstacles, she sees challenges.  When she gets an answer wrong while doing her homework, she does not give up, she gets determined and really wants to figure it out.  You can see the wheels turning as she pushes herself to work it out because she will not be defeated.  I have seen her go toe-to-toe with her father and grandfather on something she thinks is unfair, standing dwarfed by them with her hands on her hips, not backing down.
I love all these things about her and so many more, but I am perplexed by my own reaction to her at times.  With this confidence and tenacity comes sassiness and bossiness that rubs me the wrong way and I am not entirely sure why.  I have found myself over the past few months admonishing her to stop being bossy, and telling her to "be sweet."
It wasn't until Frank pointed out that he struggles with how to deal with that as well when approaching Wren that I started to question my discomfort and my reactions.  I used never to question things and grew tired of Frank's constant questioning of things, but now I see it as essential to my growth and happiness, no matter how tiring it might be.
So why does it bother me when she is sassy and bossy?  Certainly it is not always comfortable to deal with and you can argue that it is not terribly attractive, but is it different coming from a boy?  I would argue that it is.  I would argue that we would see such action from a boy as being assertive and would see these traits as leadership skills.  I think of the working world and know that women who are in charge and assertive are often labeled as "bitch".  Do I want Wren to grow up and be afraid of letting the world know who she is and what she thinks?  I do not.
If I think back to my own childhood I think I had that spark as well.  I don't think it was as strong as Wren's but I remember it was there.  I grew up in a different time, a different family and a different culture and I listened when I was told to "be sweet".  I took it to heart and stopped sharing my observations, voicing my opinions and being fierce.  I thought that being demure on weighty matters was what I was supposed to do when inside I actually had a lot to say.  "Being sweet" did not serve me well, it snuffed out my confidence and made me question my own worth.
So now I am trying to saying, "be respectful" to Wren.  I don't want her spark to fade, her fierceness to diminish, her sweetness to snuff out who she really is.  I will say this to Dermot as well.  He has far less confidence in himself than his sister and I worry equally about him as I do about her just for many different reasons.

"From a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame." Dante Alighieri